Day 4

My grandmother died on Monday.  It's a strange thing to process the death of someone you have no relationship with when everyone expects you to grieve.  I'm not sad.  There, I said it.  In fact, she was a hateful woman.

That being said, I am heartbroken for my father.  He lost his father 2 years ago, and now he is also motherless.  I'm not just said for him because of his loss, I'm also sad for all of the things he never had, like the unconditional love of his parents.  Up until the day they each died, I'm sure he was trying to win their love, and I can't even imagine how hard on one's heart that would be.  

I'm blessed to have the most amazing parents.  I often say that even on the days I've disappointed them beyond what I thought possible, they've shown me nothing but love.  They knew it's what I needed the most.

On Day 4, I wrote my father a letter.

I wanted him to know that despite the constant chasing of his parent's love, he has always and will always have mine.